You’re a woman at peace with who you are. And you long for your tribe…

You actually like yourself and your body (or rather, you’ve accepted it is and don’t fret so much about it, and you actually use the words “does this make me look fat?” less). You don’t use anything that remotely produces a reflection to check your make-up or your hair anymore. Eating cheese cake and drinking red wine becomes REALLY enjoyable, and you don’t gasp anymore or feign disgust when you see someone of “larger size” doing it. You enjoy healthy food because it tastes great. But you’re not obsessed.

You’ve also reached the point where you don’t have to force your opinion on anybody else for fear of not asserting yourself. You can state calmly (or less calmly) how you feel – IF you feel like doing it, and it doesn’t matter if you’re being “heard”. You actually notice people are nowadays actually asking for your opinion.

You can still vehemently stand up for issues you believe in. It doesn’t matter whether people might like you less for it. But, this time, you actually have some facts to back it up and you’re not just a groupie anymore.

You’re also less concerned about what SHE is wearing, about HER latest Botox injection, where THEY have gone for holidays (unless it’s India or Peru!), or what HE has bought her. In fact, you’re not concerned at all. Gossiping bores you.

You do yoga or visit the gym but it doesn’t matter if you are not wearing Lulu Lemons, and you don’t feel you can’t work out unless you’re wearing three coats of mascara. It doesn’t matter if you end up in the class for “ou tannies” (old ladies), because either you are actually older than them, or it just happens to be the most convenient time slot for you. And perhaps even better suited to your fitness level.

You dress how you want to dress, not the way society or “your age” defines. You’re unique, sometimes even bohemian, and yes, some may call it sexy. But never silly, never foolish, and never sloppy – on you’re your terms (unless you decide it to be).

“Shopping” is actually something you have to do (occasionally), and not a hobby. You are elated when the mall seems deserted as it actually means you can get it over with quicker.

Some things now start driving you up the wall. Suddenly you notice the thick layers of foundation actually emphasizing the dry cracks in some faces.  You become aware of looks beyond looks. You start wondering when the real conversations are going to start. Girly-girly talk, fake teethy smiles and talking in diminutives make you want to run.

So, what to do?

You long for the wide open spaces. You believe there is a way to feel free right here in suburbia, with your partner and children, even if they sometimes drive you crazy, take you for granted, or don’t help with the chores.

You want to find your passion and what makes you come alive from inside. But you’re secretly afraid of where this may lead to so you let sleeping dogs lie.

You want to feel sexual without excuses, having to feel “silly”, or being labeled. And you are sure you are not the only one experiencing this.

You’re hurt, tired, and even a little bit indifferent. But you hope for the lost sparkle to return.

You long for your tribe.

But you remain aware that stepping out of any box, might just be a metaphor for you stepping in to another…

You’re at peace with who you are. But you remain where you are. In the box.

And you’re sick of girly-girly talk….

Is this you??

About the author:

Celeste Du Toit is a transformational life coach, NLP practitioner, inspirational speaker and healer. She is the founder of YES Paradigm Coaching, a provider of individual, group, professional and online coaching programs, workshops, and retreats.

She uses neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), powerful questioning techniques, and mindfulness and balancing techniques to help people move forward, develop their full potential, gain confidence, and reclaim their self-worth and joy.

Contact Celeste on  or 082 741 9578.