So you’ve decide you want to change your life and take action. You’re all inspired. But you need to know what to change and the change needs to be sustainable.
Imagine you’re in a dark warehouse, searching for something on the shelves. It is pitch black and you only have a tiny flashlight. Then someone turns on the floodlights and the whole warehouse lights up. Suddenly you realise how much you were struggling with your tiny flashlight – there are hundreds of racks you’ve never realised were there!
But then the floodlights dim again, and you’re back to using only your little flashlight. So either you become settled in darkness again and forget about the bigger warehouse, or, you get a little frustrated, knowing, but still unable to see.
That is when I get excited, because it means something is going to change. Emotion has to be present for change to happen. “Frustration” or pain over your circumstances is a signal that you need to change something, or change your life. We are conditioned to ignore it, but that means we will eventually get hurt (or more hurt).
So where do you start?
I’d like to share a few principles that I use in my coaching toolkit, which may be of value to you and show you how you can change your life with coaching.
Make the full commitment to change your life, because at times it may not be comfortable. You may have to stretch your boundaries and get out of your comfort zone.
Understand your drivers
The main reason why people fail to achieve their goals is if their goals do not meet their core values. Once you know these, you can structure your goals and actions around them, with greater chance of success.
Uncover your stories
Some of us have been wearing a mask for so long, we forget it’s a mask. It is imperative to uncover these stories. A good coach can help you identify this by reflecting back to you what you may not see.
Toss those limiting beliefs
Imagine what it would be like NOT have to carry the load of your limiting beliefs. Understand your behaviour patterns and change them. If you need help changing them, get help.
Shift at a subconscious level
Self-love does not equate to being self-ish. Not loving ourselves results in a constant search for validation and external approval. Often self-love is buried deeply in the subconscious, so it may require a deep identity shift.
Become aware of your emotions. We often try to avoid negative emotions. But they are signals; warning signs. When you understand what lies at the root of your emotions, you can begin to take control of the stories you tell.
When you are stuck and feeling” low” it may be hard to get inspired, so learn what takes you from a negative to a positive state. Get out of that stuck feeling, and generate new possibilities for yourself.
Align body and mind
Look at all areas of your life– spirituality, relationships, health, finances, intimate love, recreation. A holistic view and sustainable personal growth means looking at every aspect of your life and constantly striving for growth and balance.
Knowing and not doing is the same as not knowing. Learn and apply. Do what it requires and focus on growing every day. Make small changes to change your life, but do it constantly. A coach can hold you accountable for this.
Understand and manage your environment
Environment is key. You can change negative thoughts and patterns, but they became your beliefs in the first place so don’t allow them to grow back.
Take an honest look at your resources and support structures. Let go of energy thieves (things, places and people). Know who to ask for help (and don’t be afraid to ask!), and learn how to manage your resources, including your time.
So back to that warehouse – do you prefer to toss around in the dark, or let someone guide you to apply these principles?
Family, friends or colleagues may mean well but often have preconceived ideas and judgments about us. A coach comes with an open mind and skills to make things happen. They help us to discover what drives us and what we need to change, and then inspire, motivate and work with us to bring about change.
Personal growth seminars are jam-packed and coaches are everywhere to be found. People are taking responsibility and eager to work on themselves.
But what good does it serve being all hyped up after if it results in nothing but short-lived euphoria? It’s like turning on the floodlights, and then turning it out again and passively accepting using the flashlight again.
If you want to start a life coaching journey, feel to contact me. I make it my mission to support people in that way and I have tools to support you in learning that. It is up to you to implement.
About the author:
Celeste Du Toit is a transformational Life Coach, NLP practitioner, and speaker. She is passionate about working with people who dare to dream or think out of the box, and who long for “something more”.
She works individually or with groups, runs regular workshops and delivers inspirational speaking engagements.