Balancing the Masculine: When is too much, too much?

After years of working on rising my Feminine (still in progress by the way), I find myself in a period of re-discovering and enjoying my Masculine. In the quest for balance, I wish to share some contemplations, insights and perspectives. Enjoy the ride with me…


How can I be more intentional with my time, without becoming inflexible?

Where can I create more structure and order in my life, yet still be in the flow?

Can I be more focused and solution-orientated, without becoming a slave to routine or dogma?

How do I create balance with my masculine energies?

And when is too much, too much?

Let’s just for a moment set aside the reasons why we may wish to implement behaviour changes, and why we often fail. For now, let’s forget about all the acquired conditioning, beliefs, patterns and limiting thoughts we place in fulfilling our dreams. Let’s assume you are totally committed, working on your shadows, facing your beliefs, and confronting your fears.

Let’s look at the questions again. We can probably get answers, advice, and tools from a variety of sources to help with the first part of every question. Yet, for each, I have – deliberately – given a reason, an excuse, of why NOT to be more intentional, why NOT to create more structure, or why NOT to be more focused.

I have suggested the opposite, or polarised aspects, of each desire, the potential pitfall of “too much”. I have described the natural swing of the pendulum towards an alternative.

And that alternative can give us a way out, a cop-out, as it speaks to our fear of being out of balance. So, we stay in a state of imbalance, for fear of creating more imbalance. We stay with a known distortion, for fear of creating an opposite, but potentially equally destructive distortion.

Perhaps you have found a way to create the perfect balance. In which case, this article may not apply to you.

However, if, like me, you find life a constant see-saw between implementing good, fruitful habits in one area of your life, and then falling short in another area, or, if you are constantly looking for the middle-ground, the optimal way of living life, read on.

In fact, stop trying. Stop trying to find the perfect balance, or the optimal state. It does not exist. The wheel of life, is constantly moving.

The key to balance is movement, or more precisely, the awareness of this movement. The Universal law of Vibration states that everything is always in motion. A still point is just a point on the continuum of movement. The moment we think of balance as something to achieve, or even as a state, we are out of balance again.

Does that mean we should not strive for balance?

Hell, no!

Balance is about knowing and accepting there will always be movement, and to find the optimal movement for this moment. It is about knowing what needs to be done in the existing state of imbalance, and being willing to allow or to do that, without fear of creating more imbalance. (Note –without fear, not without awareness!) Not what is easiest, not what is most comfortable, but what is necessary, and in alignment with your highest purpose and greatest potential. And knowing that there will be more movement. Always.

So how do we know what is in alignment with our highest purpose?

We get to know ourselves. We become absolutely and brutally honest. Thing is, if you want to be sovereign, you must be responsible for what you decide and you, only you, will know if you are honest, what you need to face, and what needs to be done. The optimal movement in any given moment is different for every one of us, and for any one of us, that changes constantly. What is best for you, is not necessarily best for me, and what is best for you today, is not necessarily best for you tomorrow.

Of course coaching, therapy, or any mirror could help (and be invaluable), but I believe most of us have forgotten how to really look at ourselves in a totally unattached, objective way and call our stuff out for what it is. We have either been too brainwashed, become too comfortable being controlled, too fearful, or we have learnt to sugar-coat real issues in the name of light and love. We have buried our Masculine ability to be critical, objective, ruthless, or decisive. And many of us need to dig up that ability from under all sorts of fluffy doctrines like manifestation, alignment, and flow. Hear me out – these are not FALSE doctrines, in fact, they are very real and very important energetics, but they have mostly been used in a very lop-sided, often misunderstood way.

Once you become brutally honest, you may see what is necessary to do RIGHT NOW. It may be to put a tightrope on your business, cut ties, or to focus on generating capital. It may be necessary to take a hard look at how you use your time and money, or to implement challenging action steps. Or, it may be that you need to take a break, throw some good old-fashioned caution to the wind, and go on a wild adventure.

But it may also be the smaller things – creating lists, setting up and following a budget, getting back to a strict morning routine, eliminating sugar from your diet, saying no to another coffee date, setting the alarm an hour earlier, or ditching social media. And finding or creating the support that will help you with this.

And then to assess what the next movement needs to be. To be okay with whatever went out of whack this time. You stay on course, you stay honest, and you deal with the next movement. Perhaps this time creating space for the Feminine, creating more flow, fluidity, or fun (remember – honesty is the deal!).

My bet is, when you live more in awareness of what is required moment-to-moment, with full vision of the long-term picture, once you stop chasing the “perfect balanced state”, and when you remember that everything is always moving, always vibrating, then – ironically – the need to re-balance, and the propensity to swing from one extreme to the next will have diminished, if not disappeared altogether!

And then you can ask yourself a really important question: Can I be open to the spontaneity, beauty, and creativity of life, without procrastinating on my dreams??


About the Author:

Celeste Du Toit is a transformational Life Coach, Speaker, and Holistic therapist based in Durban. She uses NLP, Kahuna Massage and Bodywork, as well as self-awareness and empowerment workshops and retreats, to help people align with their true purpose and ZEST for life.


Her approach is holistic and body-centered to help identify and change beliefs and patterns that are keeping us stuck, and her work appeals to people who take responsibility to create more joy, mastery and fulfillment in their lives.